Updated: August 17, 2013
First of all, relax, worry not. The usual share of excellent, I repeat, EXCELLENT humor not, software, especially Linux, and art will continue unabated. In addition to that, from now on, lo and behold, you will occasionally get to see stellar car reviews on Dedoimedo, although probably not in the quantity and at the frequency of the other stuff, simply because cars are a bit harder to come by, and take longer to test. You cannot VM a car, pity.
Seriously, I have been mulling this idea for a long time. I like to consider myself a petrolhead, and I like cars. To wit, I would like to share my personal slash editorial experience and opinion on a variety of models that I happened to have sat in and sledded about for a while. So here's a bit more on what you can expect.
I do not intend to even try to compete with some of the giants out there. That's not my intention. I do not have the production resources for anything of that kind. Instead, you will get fairly modest, and by that I mean, kickass reviews of cars, accompanied with some mediocre photography. Things ought to get better as time goes by, and I expect to learn new tricks, and get cozier and more experienced in collecting review material, mostly pixilated footage.
So professional work aside. What you have is a decent dose of cock laced with intellect, style, wit, and good commentary, which should help you realize whether your choice of a car is the right one or not. Furthermore, you will get some real-life images, with cars having their grille, bonnet and dash smeared in dust, dirt, insect popcorn, and maybe blood. I will not spitshine the color, or hunt for sunsets, too much. But it ought to be interesting.
Look ma, no sunsets!
I will not be listing all the available engines, sizes, prices, accessories, and whatnot. My car section is not going to be a price listing guide, or a shopping guide. You can find all the technical bits at the relevant car manufacturer sites. Now, with that in mind, you probably have no incentive coming here, because my car reviews will not be your one stop shop to spending some money. So what's the trick? Aha.
Boring stuff out; good stuff in!
The reasons why you will want to read my car reviews are many. One, I'm awesome. Two, I will give you a unique and totally biased opinion of how things work, which you will not find in the beautifully styled brochures and press releases. Three, Dedoimedo.
My car reviews will mostly revolve around down-to-Earth models that mere mortals can afford to buy. Maybe now and then, I will be able to sneak a nice posh or extra-posh car. But it will be various cars that I have owned over the years, loans from friends and family, and such. Just kidding, I have no friends. Still, it will not be just basic, lame stuff. Far from it. You will also get a look at a handful of Audis and Mercedeses and alike, so worry not.
This kind of engine will not normally feature in most of the reviews; usually.
The reviews will not necessarily focus on new models. In fact, most of the time, you will see a review of a car that has been puttering down the road for several months or even several years. Or it might be an outgoing model. So maybe it will not help you decide whether you want to buy that specific model, but it could help you consider the successor version. Or not. Which is just as good. Think Linux on wheels. So if you like my rants on software, then you will get the same dose here, translated into motoring terms. Best of all, if you do not like cars, then you have the splendid privilege of closing the browser tab and ignoring me. Sweet, no.
You will probably not get that many car reviews throughout any given year, but it might change, depending on how successful this sub-section becomes, and how many people decide to part with their vehicle for a few hours, so that I may give it an honest go. We will see how it turns out.
I will not be objective. I will not be politically correct. I will not try to show you the best and the worst in every model, give each one equal coverage, or anything of that sort. I will probably try using some kind of a formula for reviews, so they do actually bring you some value in the end, but some models might get just a few quick paragraphs, others will have multiple articles dedicated to their glory, or failure.
I will definitely favor European cars over everything else. I like diesel engines, I like turbo engines, I like turbo-diesel engines. I absolutely love manual transmission, and I hate cars with an automatic gearbox. And I absolutely loathe hybrid cars. So you will probably see me totally bashing American steel, being lukewarm about Japanese and Korean models, and most positively humping the European models, with Germans taking the lead. It's not fair, but if you want fair, ask Mom and Dad to praise you, against the better judgment of the society.
Hybrids are unto cars what the synthesizer is unto classical music.
I think my attempt to be as unfair as possible will make the reviews so much fun. You will help me, of course, by sending angry emails, or trying to correct my assumptions and statements. Once again, go back to my Linux world and extrapolate. There will not be any soft-footed vanilla-flavor paraphrasing with half the quotes taken from official slogans. Nope. I am going to try to be as annoying as possible.
Lastly, and this is important, both for you readers AND car companies out there. If you spot a mistake here and there, do not start foaming and fretting. So I may write down a wrong car range or engine torque figure. Big deal. Do not expect nuclear science here, and if you really think I can do better, I welcome car loans for extended tests, the way you do with big players out there. Now, as a tiny droplet of proverbial journalism in the big world yonder, you will probably not care about me, but in the long term, you never know.
You will be entirely responsible for taking my advice and applying it to your own life and budget. You may not accuse of making you choose the wrong car. If you crash, it's your problem. If your girlfriend leaves you, because you buy a car with only two floor pedals, it's your fault.
Mucking about the Web, I noticed there are not that many car review sites really, because it's a difficult, complex and costly endeavor. So I am trying to do something quite hard and challenging. Your help will be appreciated by making suggestions on how to improve the content, what other cars to take into consideration and all the usual bloggoboost.
So there we go. This is just an early announcement. The first review(s) should be up soon, and hopefully, my articles about wheeled modes of transportation will be just as useful to you as my software pieces. If not, then you might at least enjoy some pseudo-noob journalism. Finally, for some really great car sites, you might want to hop into my Greatest sites section and browse. I believe you will known how to operate the links and whatnot, and get there. That's all for now.