Mediocrity Test - Questions



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Question 1: Do you think your marriage ceremony was special, with fireworks and flying dolphins, crying bride and her mom, a second-grade band and a triple-tiered cake with too much sugar in it?
Yes No

Question 2: Did you or do you intend to take mortgage so you can spend the rest of your life paying 350% of the property value to stone-faced bankers, never being able to quit your job for the fear of not being able to meet the payments and getting evicted within 3 days of falling short of just one?
Yes No

Question 3: Do you have or do you wish to have children, so you can dread them being kidnapped or molested until they turn 18, have them fail at school despite your best efforts and them have them neglect you when you're old and senile?
Yes No

Question 4: Do you wear crocs?
Yes No

Question 5: Do you watch reality TV shows?
Yes No

Question 6: Did you lease a car through your workplace so you can brag about being a corporate little borg?
Yes No

Question 7: Do you watch news every evening, unquestionably believing every word the reports say, living in fear from another terrorist attack by an organization called Al-whatever, duct taping your Pringles-thin windows against nuclear attacks?
Yes No

Question 8: Does your precious corporate lease car have automatic transmission or do you drive like a man, using both of your healthy legs?
Yes No

Question 9: (Female) Did you or do you intend to get pregnant by "accidentally forgetting the birth control" and then pestering every single friend or would-be friend of yours with baby talk, even though it is probably one of the least liked subjects they want to talk about? (Male) Do you believe her when she says she forgot?
Yes No

Question 10: (Male) Are you allowed to watch porn? (Female) Do you let him watch porn?
Yes No




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