The Running Man conspiracy



Updated: February 6, 2012

For those of you wondering, The Running Man is a fairly good novel and an even better sci-fi B movie. Yes, you may have guessed the plot. It takes place in the not so far future, which for people living in the 80s would have been early 2000s, only now turned out to be not so different from the 80s, go figure. And you have the world controlled by media and government, and you have people humiliating themselves on TV for money. Reality, problem?

Anyhow, the plot is irrelevant. Because I want to discuss the conspiracy. And yes, there's one. You might mistakenly take me for some new-world-order bullshit fan. On the contrary, as a man of facts, I tend to dissect the world in a very analytical manner. So, there are facts, and you find some kind of mathematical formula that relates between them. In this particular case, something awesome happened. Hence, the conspiracy.

Teaser

Note: Image taken from Wikimedia, licensed under CC-BY 2.0.

What gives?

Aha. Ready? Here we go. In the movie, you have two major actors playing. One is Arnold Schwarzenegger, who plays Ben Richards, our wrongly convicted hero. The other one is Jesse Ventura, playing Captain Freedom, the guilt-ridden good-natured and misled bully serving the bad guy and slowly tripping his own conscience wires as he sees injustice unfold before the camera lenses. Not by chance, as the plot thickens you're slowly led to believe there's going to be a mighty clash between the two.

Both Arnold and Jesse were big stars in the 80s. Arnold was well known for his muscular physique, the funny accent and a decent acting stunts in the Conan franchise and the first Terminator movie. Jesse was a former Navy SEAL, a flamboyant professional wrestler with the rugged yet honest all-American chin. They both have starred together in Predator, with obvious good chemistry between them. Unlike today's sissy actors who must use doubles, the two were never too shy before the camera when it came to ripping off their shirts and showing off little mountains of muscle and sinew. You can only imagine the drama as the audience waited for the big fight.

Arnold Jesse

Now, none of this matters at all. What matters is the following. Jesse, a man of the muscle, was elected the Governor of Minnesota. Arnold, a man of the muscle, was elected the Governor of California. So we have two out of two. And there's your conspiracy. The Running Man is a gubernatorial conspiracy to elect athlete movie stars to positions of power. Hence, it is likely that the rest of the cast will one day hold positions of power in various states of America. The numbers do not lie.

To make things even trippier, Jesse is now running a TV show that examines various conspiracy theory allegations and mysteries. How do you like that, ladies and gentlemen? And all of this was written in a book by Stephen King some thirty years back, a man known to communicate with aliens using nothing but chopsticks. Proof.

Congress

Conclusion

There you go. The camera-happy athletes conspiracy theory. But you cannot dispute the facts. There's no other Hollywood production where not one but two major actors turned out to be state governors. Well, except Predator, but in this case, those are the same two actors, blimey! And if not for the simple facto Arnold was born in Austria, he might have been a president. How do you like that? Well, there you go. Theory, fact, proof. If you feel you have just wasted seven minutes of your life, do send me a hateful email, and I'll politely ignore it.

Finally, for those of you born in countries free of sarcasm and/or blessedly spared the harshness of life that bestows upon one a very dark, cynical sense of humor like mine, I would like to emphasize the humoristic aspect of this article. If you had any doubts till now, then one, doubts are dispelled now, two, you have a much bigger problem than your lack of humor. Who would have imagined a sci-fi B flick could provide so much fun and joy?

Note: Images of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura and the US congress are in public domain.

Cheers.

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