Experts say ...

Posted by Armand Gracious: August 18, 2027, 13:33

Keywords: bullshit, propaganda, money, capitalism

"Internet is becoming very unsafe," experts say. Armand Gracious, a renown self-proclaimed security expert says the Internet is under the onslaught of 'bad guys.' "Some pretty dangerous days lie ahead of us," Armand stated in an interview with Anna Pelvarin, our IT analyst.

According to the published report, 'bad guys' have tripled their efforts from the last year. Average PC users are bombarded with spam and cookies without a real solution to protecting their privacy. Most of the spam and cookies come in the form of well-crafted emails (see example) or drive-by-downloads that put bad stuff onto the users' PC without their knowing. The 'bad guys' use holes in the Internet Explorer and Outlook Express to achieve this.

Best of
Kidney donations, starting at $500!
Click here to see if you're eligible
to donate. 30% discount and free
steroids to the first 100 donors
found matching.

Coupon code: K1DN33
A random advertisement that has
nothing to do with the article; it's here for
suckers to click on so that our CEO can pay
for his Lexus.

Firefox and Thunderbird users have been safe so far, mostly because of their tiny market share (40% and 30%, respectively). "The truce is over," Armand says. "Although 100% of the efforts are channeled through Internet Explorer and Outlook Express, Firefox and Thunderbird also have holes. For instance, only last year, Firefox had 39 minor vulnerabilities reports, all of which have been promptly patched. In contrast, Internet Explorer had ONLY had 14 most critical exploits, most of which have not been patched."

"There are many vulnerabilities in Firefox," our IT analyst was told. "They have not been discovered yet and there is no proof to any of them, but this is no reason to feel complacent."

Best of

Your autobahn to safety!
Only $19.95. Click here
to buy and protect your
family and privacy!
Ever wondered why the article is so bloody
narrow? That's because we need all the extra
space to place the ads!

The best way to protect your PC from spam bots and cookie droids lurking out there is to keep your system up to date and an anti-virus solution like VirusVaccine™ ($49.95). Furthermore, Internet Explorer can also be made safer by using programs like Cookie Sniper™ ($19.95) and Popup Slaughterer™ ($29.95).

Windows users are also advised to update from their stable version of XP to the latest Windows Vista, which offers as much as 50% reduction in performance.

Funny ad 2 Registry Cossack!

your registry
nice and deep like
Click here for a
free scan!
Are you a victim of identity theft?
Click here for a short survey.
100 ways to make your
computer safe.
Civil war in Uganda;
click here to vote.

What about Linux?

"Linux is not mature yet for the mainstream," Armand tells us. "Although there are tons of excellent distributions out there, which can be installed in less than an hour, most people are not ready to switch. They will be asking for their favorite programs like Solitaire and Word. Plus, there are many spyware and viruses for Linux, too."

Armand advises against freewares on the web. "Many free programs are not what they claim to be. Too often, people download them only to discover their system riddled with spyware and popups. The best way to keep the system safe is to buy programs from official vendors. Free is never free."

Funny ad 4
Funny ad 2

Identity theft is at all times high. People's privacy is in danger. "You come home from work one day only to discover all your favorite music and movies that you bought are gone." PC users should be careful when clicking on links. Programs like Blink-a-link™ ($19.95) and Linkograph™ (free) protect users from going to bad sites like porn or DistroWatch. "Blink-a-link™ is my favorite," Armand tells our very own analyst over a cup of macchiato. "It protects against as many as 400 bad sites."

Blink-a-link" can be installed as a toolbar for Internet Explorer. "It watches your traffic and when you hit a bad site, it redirects you to a good one." The toolbar is very useful against phishing, pharming and pharting, all of which have become a serious danger to Internet privacy.

Toward the end of the interview, Armand tells our more than mildly attractive Anna, "I'm not really an expert. I just look great in a suit, lol."


johnny33: lol, cool guys. Now i'm using Linkograph and feel so much safer.

dave2: M$ sucks.

lostinthought87: where can i download ff?

Ruby: I think Internet is safe; you only need a firewall and an anti-virus.

johnny33: i'm also using anti-phishing, so much safer now.

dave2: johnny, you sukc

johnny33: you suck!! lol

barbaraCA: is is legal to download ubuntu?

eli-ganja-22: you can use hosts file to keep it safe...

Leave a comment:

First name:

Last name: (Optional)

E-mail address:

We will use your email address to spam you quite a lot.

Confirm e-mail address:

Confirm e-mail address again:

Tell us your crappy thoughts:

hack this story | smash it | trash it | burn it | chop it | pouch it | spin it

Copyright @ greedy vampires 2009; all rights reserved