Pirated software

Updated: November 2, 2009

If you think I'm going to talk about the moral, legal, financial, and political implications of using software not according to various license agreements set by money-loving companies, you're wrong. This article is not about the subtle use of the word piracy, which is all about plunder, robbery and violence, with the somewhat foggy misuse of software in the free world of Internet. This article is not about big corporations and their draconian use of capital to squash competition and choke technological advancements. This article has nothing to do with digital piracy. This article is all about software, designed, run and used by pirates! Dr. Pun, all the way!

Today, we will learn about little known software known as pirated software; software designed by code pirates, people with itchy beards and growly talk, people with pet parrots, wooden keyboards and a liking for sea faring simulation games. Lean back and enjoy a lesson in maritime programming!

What does pirate software look like?


First, here's a desktop:

Desktop 1

Or perhaps, one like this:

Desktop 2

Or these:

Desktop 3

Desktop 4

Pirate software is all about marine environment and sea motifs. Desktop wallpapers cannot be changed. At best, only a select number of related images can be rotated. These exquisite wallpapers taken from SkinBase. Thanks to Ocky for the suggestion!

System messages

Then, you have the various system messages, all in the spirit of the thing! For example, here's what happens when your operating system can't find a file:

Message 1

And this is what happens when you try to run a corrupt program:

Message 2

And here's when your system is low on memory:

Message 3

Now, take a careful look at the message above - nogging of rum. Now, rum is spelled ram, in other words RAM, the computer memory. Man, that's a Nobel Prize right there!

Other traits of pirated software includes mandatory lack of spell checks, system sounds based on ship noises and parrots, applications named after pirates, like Calico Jack, Henry Morgan, etc, and no women whatsoever, as they bring bad luck.

Am I not a genius, or what?

Moar readin'

If you liked this article, you may want to take a look at my other Dr. Pun articles:

Fingering your Ubuntu

Bourne Identity on Linux

Backup your drivers

Conclusion (Jolly Roger)

That's all, me hearties! See ya around. Avast! Aaaarrr!

P.S. Thumbnail image at index page derived from Pirate Flag of Rack Rackam on Wikipedia and is released under Creative Commons Public Domain Dedication.