Goofing around in ArmA 3



Updated: September 11, 2017

In between difficult, life-sapping missions in ArmA 3, now and then, you want to relax. Step back from the gritty realism and just enjoy the game for its wonderful graphics, smooth physics, and a colorful plethora of accurate weaponry. And then, also exploit the game's notoriously buggy runtime engine, which has almost become a tradition, even since the glorious days of Operation Flashpoint. Indeed.

So let me showcase some silly, crazy, pointless moments, captured for posterity through screenshots over the many hours of fun I've had this with ArmA 3 in the past few years. We're talking bad scripting, input validation, stupidity, and just pure nonsense. In essence, the same mature, sensible stuff we did in ArmA 2, and then some. Party time, excellent!

Teaser

Fight with style

Some of the scenarios let you fully customize your outfit. I mean really fully customize it. You can fight like a proper soldier, all dressed in fatigues and whatnot, or you can be like Sonny Crockett in Miami Vice. The choice is entirely yours. You can be average or you can be fabulous.

Style 1

Too legit to quit.

Style 2

I am too sexy for my Crocs, too sexy for my Crocs, too sexy, yeah.

Style 3

Chinos for the win!

Swimming with the fishes

Whenever you get bored with land combat, you can dive under the waves and chillax with the aquatic creatures of ArmA 3. Just make sure you don't hit the bottom too often or remain underwater for too long, because you will perish.

Fish

Submarine

The invincible man

Speaking of water - did you know that some people can hold their breath indefinitely? Like our informant right here, he's been submerged for like an hour, with no adverse effects.

Aquaman

Aquaman Returns!

Mauling zombies - and getting mauled

Get the Zombies & Demons mod, get the Combat Recon mission, and then select your foe to be zombies. This will be a tough one. The living dead chasing you at supersonic speed, refusing to die save for a well-placed headshot. They moan, they totter, they crab-walk, and even in broad daylight, it's super-creepy. But entertaining.

Zombies 1

Zombies 2

I need a young specops and an old specops.

Zombies 3

Zombies 4

Got hit so hard, he got fused into the sand bags.

Tank flip games

This is a classic one, we've done this before. Bonus points if you hit barrel to barrel. TBC.

Tanks, turned over

Tank, turned over, more

Strike a pose

Vogue! Yes. ArmA 3 sometimes errs on the glitchy side. As evident here:

Pose 1

Pose 2

Pose 3

Pose 4

Pose 5

Racing

You may also want to race - cars, quad bikes, or even carts, if you're into the whole DLC nonsense. Notice the passenger. Seems to be asleep. Hint, he's dead, following a wee accident at high speed.

Racing

Racing, oops

Roy, Roy. You okay buddy?

Playing in the sandbox

Of course, nothing like Armex to keep you warm on a cold day. Just don't get caught in a loop of shooting each other in the crotch with a pistol too often. As you can see, it does not get boring, and my co-player still hasn't fully figured where those bullets are coming from.

Sandbox 1

The goal here is to decapitate the guy on the ground with helicopter blades:

Sandbox 2

Sandbox 3

Johnny, what happened to Roberto? He killed himself mama, se pego un tiro, very sad.

Sandbox 4

Jumping in ArmA 3, well ...

Sandbox 5

This does not really work.

Sandbox 6

Notice the exploding truck flying some 200 meters into the air.

Wall hacks

The good ole one, my favorite:

Wall hack 1

Wallhack 2

Notice the landscape in the ACOG.

Wall hack 3

This is more of a crate hack, or as they say, head in the crate.

Wall hack 4

Inception.

Did someone say amphibious assault ship?

There were many a merry moment playing in the ArmA 3 Stratis sandbox. The diver-dressed vehicle spawner will gladly produce the likes of frigates, WASP-class assault ships and other HUGE naval vehicles, right there, right then, accompanied by some sweet narration in French. Ah classique. You are free to explore these ships, which I did, like duh. The hull is full of armored vehicles, the decks are loaded with planes, and you can actually use and operate them. More bugs ensue.

Nothing like an overturned MV-22 Osprey spinning like a top, its propellers blazing, mincing you gently to death while you try not to die from laughter. Stairwells and ladders aplenty, so you might as well climb up, and hopefully find the bridge, from which you may hope to operate the ship and sail into the blue offing. Alas, it would seem this isn't possible just yet. The frigate is usable, though. This is totally mad.

Ship 1

Ship 2

Ship 3

Ship 4

Osprey, upturned

We shall discuss this more in the future.

... and other funny moments

Does that helicopter look ever so slightly less intimidating from this angle, or what?

Helicopter

Chillaxin' with the sheep:

Sheep

And finally ... Oh ye Linux fans, look!

Linux

Conclusion

How does one conclude an article that is 99% childish fun and 1% everything else? With glee of course. A serious game does not have to take itself seriously. Alongside hardcore war simulation, you can always have some cool, intelligent, innocent fun, especially when enhanced by a random glitch or three. Operation Flashpoint had these aplenty, and keeping up with the tradition, ArmA 3 follows suit.

When you're not in the mood to campaign like a pro, but still need an outlet to your violent, prehistoric urges, ArmA 3 delivers the right therapy. Stupid fun aplenty, in high definition. I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any suggestions, shout, shout, let it all out. And we're done.

Cheers.

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