Updated: February 18, 2012
When last winter crippling blizzards failed to arrive at the very predicted moment calculated by weather algorithms, everyone started complaining about global warming, how we are ruining the planet and how we are going to be punished for our naughty behavior. This year, the winter in the northern hemisphere is considered to be one of the harshest in the past 25 years or even longer. And yet, you won't find even one tweet or chirp or failbook post about global cooling. How's that? Because it's all massive bollocks, that's why.
Apparently, having people freeze to death is perfectly normal. Temperatures in the range of minus 40 degrees Celsius are quite all right for Ukraine. And the Adriatic cost should be freezing, that's only to be expected. We all know the best way to cover scientific failures is to ignore the reality. And in this case, global warming, the media succubus and the academia Jezebel, is as FAIL as grammatically possible.
It is interesting to see that humans still like to delude themselves about our unwarranted self-importance in the bigger scheme of things of this planet, like the oxygen cycle, seasons, tides, ice caps melting or not, other fancy global weather phenomena, and whatever. Moreover, having collected temperature data for only some fifty years or so, humans are trying to quantify some four billion years of Earth's merry life, which seems to be somewhat error prone, and let's not forget deliberate manipulation, misleading information and leading misinformation, as well as ignorance and pride, all combined.
I can understand the motivation. After all, our need to learn and control everything did help us gain a few remarkable achievements in the field of science and medicine. But it is equally important to admit defeat when one is so evidently due. And in this case, global warming has been waving a white flag for years now. Only once you're committed, you go all the way. Like any big project, like any corporate illusion. It's going to succeed, even if you have to bend the reality and convince yourself that you're doing all right.
What we have is a bunch of charts and numbers that tell us diddly squat. However, masters of statistics will probably find at least forty correlations, seven trends, and another nine anomalies, and then disregard everything as outliers until they have what they need. The simple reality is, our planet is warming up a little in the past few decades, just like every other planet in the Solar system. Do you see cars and whatnot on Uranus? Nope, I didn't think so.
But even if you had consistent weather changes across decades, which you don't, they would still mean nothing in the bigger scope of things, because Earth measures its farts and burps in tens of thousands of years, making our busy little work nothing more than a heartbeat of noise. The last Ice Age happened and ended without any human interference. So it could happen again, for exactly the same reasons. We are powerless to stop it, and quite likely powerless to fully understand the mechanism.
To make you feel a little better, let's focus on the last Ice Age, which ended some 20,000-40,000 years back. If Wikipedia numbers are to be trusted, glaciation cycles occur every 100,000 years and last for about half as long. We're now in the first third of an inter-glaciation period. So we should not see any drastic changes overall, except normal fluctuations, which could span over many hundreds or even thousands of years. Our fifty years of science are irrelevant. We have arguably accurate data for only about 0.05% of the total data range, and yet we presume to extrapolate with any reasonable level of confidence what might actually be happening. And at all times, let us not forget that half the world was under ice and then no longer without any human help. Mammoths died without any reality TV to cause brain cancer.
Note 1: This image is taken from Wikimedia, licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.
Note 2: The mammoth became extinct because it watched too much reality TV, FYI.
It's called Cluster Fubar. This year's winter is just as insignificant as the one before, and the huge variation in average temperatures only serves to highlight the margin of error and the fact that the data we collect cannot be trusted, nor the people who molest the data. But what really bugs is the lack of media attention. No one is complaining about the cold, except real people being affected by it. But no one brings the global bullshit onto the news agenda. What now? Speechless, are you? I hope the oceans freeze, that would be interesting. Maybe then someone would remember to mention the absolute collective failure of the scientific community. A few PhDs ought to be revoked, but I guess it does not work that way. You stick to an idea, no matter what it is, and you pretend it's the truth until the day you retire. That's how it's done. Bloody hell.
There's no global warming, never was and never will be. The only thing that is happening is the natural cycle of our Solar system doing whatever it feels like doing, without consulting us. Sometimes, it gets hot, sometimes it gets cold. There's no equation to it, no logic. Not everything is mathematical.
Or perhaps it is, but we sure do not understand the mechanisms yet. Science is still in its infancy when it comes to studying our planet, let alone the Sun's playground. We sure do presume too much. Still, it stands to logic. Using the word green, which used to denote bad and dangerous things in the past, is all of a sudden the magic key to all kinds of doors, especially false pretensions and high-society flair. You might as well develop a nuclear aircraft carrier but as long as crew's mess coffee cups are made of recycled Styrofoam, then everything is going to be all right. Global warming, my ass.
The Antarctica ice shelf image used here and on the index page is in public domain.