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Question 1: Do you think your marriage ceremony was special, with fireworks and
flying dolphins, crying bride and her mom, a second-grade band and a triple-tiered cake with too much sugar in
it?
Question 2: Did you or do you intend to take mortgage so you can spend the rest of
your life paying 350% of the property value to stone-faced bankers, never being able to quit your job for the
fear of not being able to meet the payments and getting evicted within 3 days of falling short of just one?
Question 3: Do you have or do you wish to have children, so you can dread them
being kidnapped or molested until they turn 18, have them fail at school despite your best efforts and them have
them neglect you when you're old and senile?
Question 4: Do you wear crocs?
Question 5: Do you watch reality TV shows?
Question 6: Did you lease a car through your workplace so you can brag about being
a corporate little borg?
Question 7: Do you watch news every evening, unquestionably believing every word
the reports say, living in fear from another terrorist attack by an organization called Al-whatever, duct taping
your Pringles-thin windows against nuclear attacks?
Question 8: Does your precious corporate lease car have automatic transmission or
do you drive like a man, using both of your healthy legs?
Question 9: (Female) Did you or do you intend to get pregnant by "accidentally
forgetting the birth control" and then pestering every single friend or would-be friend of yours with baby talk,
even though it is probably one of the least liked subjects they want to talk about? (Male) Do you believe her
when she says she forgot?
Question 10: (Male) Are you allowed to watch porn? (Female) Do you let him watch
porn?
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