Updated: January 20, 2010
You all know I'm gifted. In fact, multi-gifted. One of the many aspects of my greatness is the ability to operate the digital camera at the right place at the right moment. I am not a photographer by all means, all those photons confuse me, but given a simple image-capturing gadget and some artistic creativity, I'll make some splendid photographs.
And so will other people - then forward the images to me, so I can make this article.
In this article, I will show you a few rather interesting, spectacular images taken round the corners of the world. Not your typical Life section article, where the facets of humanity are polished rough with sandpaper, more of a freestyling expressionism with a rather positive note, which you should hardly expect from a diehard cynic like me. Anyhow, enjoy.
UFOs are real
You've read my UFO article, no doubt. We all know that aliens are flocking to Earth almost daily. Forget what the scientists have to say, testimonies by unemployed housewives in Cardiff or farmers in Guadalajara are far more genuine than detailed reports by scientists and such.
As it happens, I have a few UFO pictures of my own! Me dad shot these, but this makes the UFOs only more authentic, right? There you go, a collection of bright lights in the night sky, in perfect formation, aha!
And then you have the green lights ascending toward the yellow ones!
And there you go, a closeup shot, where pixels take over credibility:
Damn near apocalyptic, isn't it?
I promise you, not a touch of Photoshop or anything alike. As genuine as it gets.
Your average housewife in Wales would be phoning the local police station by now and later on interviewing for Guardian, swearing by her cats that she has witnessed a genuine manifestation of extra-terrestrials above her boring little shire. But can you guess what it really was?
Anyhow, I had a chance to catch a glimpse of one of these aliens more closely and this is what they look like:
Speaking of cats ... A notion of cats eating fruit and vegetables sounds rather incredible. But what happens when a kitty drinks blueberry juice? Well, you get purple cat wee ... Yup. Again, any lesser man would have made a coincidental conclusion that the presence of the purple paint-like stain and a cat are somehow unrelated, but we're talking a PETA [sic] moment here.
Smog as a way of art
Living in a city with lots of eco-friendly atmospheric exhaust from all sorts of petrochemical industries can be a bonus sometimes. Well, sometimes, once or twice a year, you get the unique combination of halide-rich smog and a beautiful sunset, resulting in a breathtaking display of colors. Really magnificent.
Nuclear blast in the suburbs
Nothing like a blossoming mushroom of high-energy neutrons and accompanying atomic particles to make for a splendid morning. Truth to be told, my bedroom faces east, spectating over a rather lovely natural resort. At dawn, in the autumn and winter seasons, you get fog rising above the evergreens, creating a veil of moisture that scatters the light, resulting in rather impressive, slightly apocalyptic scenes.
Nothing major, except that most people do not know that there are always two rainbows showing and not just one. It's in the physics books, believe me. In most cases, the lighting conditions are too weak to manifest the second rainbow, but in the hands of a professional, the camera will do the right trick.
There you go, a perfect Asgard moment. You have the fallen warriors ascending to Valhalla using the perfect rainbow right there, helped by buxom Valkyries. With the right choreography, anyone can spawn a religion!
Domestic chores, Matrix style
Washing dishes can happen to the best of us. Sometimes, you're home alone, sick or such, the wife is at work, and there's no one to feed you. In those rare moments, the man must fend for himself. But that does not mean that washing the dishes cannot be fun.
Grab a camera and make a show of your least favorite chore!
You've seen this in my Jesus article, but does not hurt to see a few more shots. Mix water and cornflour 1:1 ratio, and you get a non-Newtonian fluid that is so much fun to play with. You may think this is some sort of clay or alike, but it's as liquid as it gets. It just does not like to be agitated! Almost like women. If you apply too pressure, it won't yield, but if you insinuate the force slowly, over time, you'll get the right results.
How often do you get a chance to photograph someone shooting a weapon of some sort? And how often do you get a chance to capture round casings ejected at the moment of firing. Twice? Takes practice? Hardly, it's just luck and coincidence. And of course, the right man manhandling the lens.
You can't escape this plastic piece of pedal feces anywhere. Even 500 meters unto the sky, you get a chance tourist sticking their ugly, fungi-infected foot into your camera frame.
I hope you enjoyed this gallery. I believe it has a few images that you won't easily find everywhere. What more, all of these images are the fruit of a random moment, which makes them all the more spectacular. Most importantly, we have proven that UFOs are real, that cats can be vegetarian and that men are capable of washing dishes.