Computer security in a nutshell

Updated: May 28, 2012

This article features a nice video clip!

You know I LOVE security. It's my one true love. Without security you cannot be secure. Without security, you are insecure. Security is the reason why you have not been violated by Mongol hordes. The only reason why you still have some cash left in the bank account, after all that was lost in the fictitious financial crisis of late, is the fact you are running security software that protect you holy maidenhood from rogues.

You must have noticed that on every single occasion, you are served fear, wrapped in big words. After all, normal people would hardly be impressed by words like buffer overflow or null pointer. Instead, populistic terms are used to instill discipline and morale. Viruses, spyware, all kinds of words that invoke primal, survival instincts. Cases of morons downloading software called pr0ndownloader.exe and getting their boxes compromised are called infections and outbreaks. You have malware activity radars out there and a whole army of security researchers and companies who make money selling advice and software to frightened users.

Their version

If you don't use their software, you're doomed, more or less. And for some reason, you would wonder why they would ever want to kill off all malware when it produces such handsome, ample revenue? And when Microsoft does offer a truly useful software like EMET without ulterior motives, it's given the sideline show. Because nothing banks faster than panic. You are indoctrined during the daily news and you're indoctrined anywhere your browser takes you. When in reality, nothing special is happening. Never had really.

Get ready ...

All right, we know what they want to tell you. But how about a much shorter, much simpler truth? I spent a lot of time thinking how to paraphrase security in one sentence and failed to come with a suitable slogan. However, some people, way way smarter than me, managed to do just that.

All right, so please, I beg you, do not be lazy and check the Youtube video below, linked or embedded. It's short, so you won't waste too many seconds of your precious life. And it's the rawest form of truth ever conceived about computer security. In fact, all security companies should use this as their promotional material and the one and only advertisement clip for all their products. Nothing else is needed. Pure bloody genius.

Security in a nutshell, the truth

With outmost pleasure, I present:


There you go. I knew you would like this.