Updated: November 11, 2020
As you very well know, ArmA 3 is the finest military simulation game out there. I've been doing a fair share of reviews on this splendid and realistic first person shooter, covering both the occasional extension pack as well as unique individual missions. But sometimes, I just feel like taking it slow and chillaxing. Worry not, ArmA 3 is perfectly suited for the slow-n-lazy shooting meditation, too!
Over the years, I've already delighted you (read bored) with a bunch of goofing articles, spanning from the original Operation Flashpoint compilation of silly moments (you ought to read this in Graham Chapman's voice), all the way to the ArmA3 Stratis airport boom-boom factory sandbox shenanigans, WASP amphibious assault ship - aircraft carrier for the less savvy - included. Now, let's up the odds, shall we. How about an aircraft carrier, check, used as a ski jump prop, check, for the ultimate delight, check? Commence.
Recipe for fun
So here's what you need to do. First, you need to be Zeus, so you can launch the omni-mode interface and spawn objects. Second, you should have your ArmA 3 beefed up with mods - well, then, this would be the first thing - so they include the WASP class ships. Third, launch Zeus (Y), and then create an empty WASP ship. You have the option to choose among four or five configurations, including an empty deck or those laden with helicopters and VSTOL aircraft.
But now the magic part - create the ship over dry ground, preferably some hills!
What you want is for the ship to be spawn - midair - then it will slowly drop - gravity, duh - and when it hits the hill, there will be a massive particle collision, resulting in a lot of fireworks and high CPU usage as the server tries to figure out the insanity you just created. The more objects there are, the bigger the explosion. So if you spawn an empty WASP, there won't be half as much stuttering and destruction as when you create a ship with a deck full of Harriers and Ospreys.
The goal is to create the ship in JUST the right spot so it lands at a high angle, with the edge of the landing deck just below the surface. This will in fact create a ramp, which you can drive on to with vehicles.
Hence our ski jump!
It could take quite a bit of practice before you get the perfect result. You may need to restart the server a few times, as it will probably stall with three or four WASP beached on the hills of Stratis. But once you nail it, you will have the perfect jump ramp. Not too shallow, not too steep, with maybe just a bit of incline. You might not be able to climb onto the deck with just about any car, but SUV and 4x4 ought to do. If you do get everything right, you will be able to use the super-fast Golf Sport, which is the fastest land vehicle in the game, with the top speed in excess of 300 km/h - essential for good jumps. I noticed a recent update has reduced this speed quite some, so you could go with the sporty hatchback instead.
But we're not done setting up. In the current configuration, the beached ships are still active. You want to delete them - in the Zeus interface. Once you do this, they won't actually disappear, because they have collided and interacted with the map's ground texture, but they will become inert background objects. Essentially just another hill.
The eagle has landed. Bless ArmA 3 and its wonderful, wonderful bugs.
P.S. You can do all sorts of crazy tricks with ships and terrain. For instance, you can drop frigates onto the sea. They will usually exhibit a buoyant ball dynamics, sinking somewhat and then plopping back to the surface, often with a wild little jump, resulting in some crazy, unpredictable sea skimming motion. You can then try to catch up with these errant ghost ships, by chasing them with fast attack boats or helicopters, trying to get yourself onto them, so you can then use the cannon and missiles and whatnot!
We will discuss this in a separate article ... now, let's do the jumps!
Jump around
At this point, imagination and CPU power are your limit. Grab some fast vehicles, climb up the WASP deck, accelerate and jump. The goal is of course to do the silliest possible thing. So what you might want to consider, in addition to destruction and distance, is to spawn a SECOND assault ship, place it some distance away and below your jump ramp, and then try to land with your car yonder.
This may sound like childish fun - and this is exactly what it is. Stuck in some agile scrum thingie whatnot for half a day? Launch ArmA 3, spawn a WASP at a 45-degree angle, jump jump jump, and you will be emotionally healed. This is better than yoga for IT post-stress detox.
Will he make it? Oh, the suspense.
Conclusion
There you go. I may have just invented a cure for work-related PTSD, no need to thank me. However, the setup does require some careful preparation, including, first and foremost, a computer, and then ArmA 3 installed, and then the rest of this wondrous silliness.
You also need dedication and patience. You may fail a lot before you Eddie the Eagle your first jump. But once you perfect your Zeus control and find the optimal layout for the beached ships, there ought to be much merriment and rejoicing, at all once. And that's all for today, folkses.
Cheers.